They say young minds are more easily shaped, and we know there is some truth to this. (I forget things I learned in college, yet remember things I learned in Kindergarten 🙂 ) And thankfully, I was matched with an incredible, insightful mom who never wasted a moment to make it a teachable one. Yes, dads are special, but moms are super special. No kidding! My siblings and I have had so much fun and excursions with our dad, it’s amazing! However, when it comes to the learning curve and life lessons for me, mom takes the cake. Here are 10 things my mom taught me that have helped shape the woman I am today:
1. Words and Actions Have Consequences
Yes, there is freedom of speech in many places around the world, but there will always be consequences for what you say. Yep! That’s what my mom taught me, and this has helped me tremendously to think before I speak. As she would often say, “once the words leave your lips, you cannot take them back.” Likewise our actions, they can either result in good or result in bad. There is no better time to think about cause and effect than when we are about to speak or act. We must be willing to take responsibility for whatever our words or actions bring about.
2. There Aren’t Many Mind-Readers Out There So Ask for What You Want
This is something my mom would often say. It’s kinda like a mantra. In short, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” This has always stuck with me and taught me to be vocal about what I’m looking for — whether it’s something as simple as a lower price for an item or something bigger like asking my mate to love me the way I want to be loved (or else). Think about it, if we don’t ask, how will anyone know what we have need of? They won’t! And if you ask and the response isn’t favorable, then you have a choice to make a change. You can then move on in one direction or another as you have already made that request known. So don’t be afraid to ask – be it BIG or small. Just ask!
3. The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease
My mom is a pretty mouthy, outspoken woman, and she first taught me the saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” at the age of 10 because unlike my siblings, I wasn’t loud enough in speaking up and my siblings always overshadowed me. As someone who’s a little more chill and subdued, I think about that often now whenever I hesitate to speak up, and you bet I immediately begin speaking up. And the rewards I’ve gotten are enormous and many of my accomplishments would not have been possible without these words of wisdom. I’m assertive and outspoken! Thanks for this mom!!!
4. Look the Part You Want, Not the Part You Have
When my mom first told me “look the part you want, not the part you have” I thought, what? But as I became older and new responsibilities began to present themselves, it became very clear what she was saying. Every time I was getting set for an interview or starting at a new company, that advice always came to mind. And now in my later business years I’m dressing for success everyday and not taking anything for granted. I’ve found that dressing nicer than expected can win you some major brownie points with employers and business prospects alike! And not only that, but it will definitely attract that caliber of people to you as well. So go ahead, dress for the part you want!
5. There’s a Difference Between Need and Want
My mom taught me the difference between a “need” and a “want,” which has made all the difference with how I now manage money — and all it took was a trip to get me a dress. I was a 10 year old who really wanted a cute bracelet set for my friends birthday party when she first gave me the “Is that a want or a need?” talk. We were on our way to get me a new dress because I really didn’t have anything nice and fitting for a party, but I saw that bracelet set and was immediately drawn to it. It was very beautiful, but it was expensive (I later realized). I was disappointed of course! As a little girl I didn’t understand anything about money or cost or needs and wants. The speech went over my head for the most part, but the conclusion of the message stuck: never ask to fill a want before a need is met. I learned that afternoon that a bracelet set qualifies as a want and a dress as a need.
The bracelet set lesson has become more valuable than ever upon entering the real world and moving to New York City in my early years, where I had to distinguish between needs and wants to stay afloat. It’s made me a more diligent and conscious spender, a habit that I believe takes time to form — a habit that a personal finance book or class can define but never truly teach. Thanks mom!
6. Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst
My mom’s constant words as we got older and started out making decisions in the real world were, “hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” It’s something I take to heart daily. Preparing for the worst-case scenario doesn’t necessarily mean you have a negative outlook, just that you want all your bases covered. It’s precautionary! It’s like storing food, water, and select medical supplies that can last 3 months, 6 months, 1 year in the event something happen and those things can’t get to you for a while. Highly unlikely, but very possible! Living this way has allowed nothing to take me off-guard.
7. Work Hard, Play Even Harder
The one thing that has really stuck with me is my mom’s ability to work hard, and play even harder. I’ve always admired her for being successful and respected in her industry, while remaining level-headed and moral above all. She always take time out for vacations, ensuring she spends time with her family, and never cease to live it up with her friends. She always remind us, “I work my a$$ off so I can enjoy whatever I want to enjoy – whenever!”. She celebrated her wins in style and was bold in letting everyone know where she has been, and the road she has traveled paved with obstacles, and how she maneuvered her way from where she was to where she wanted to be – living the life she desired and dreamed of. She prioritizes spending time with her family and was always ready for a good laugh. She balances her professional and personal lives nicely, and has always been a loyal, honest person in every facet of her life. Today, her example is helping me to live a more fulfilling life. I do work hard – smart but hard, and of course I continue to play even harder. Thanks mom!
8. It’s Not How Much You Earn, It’s How Much You Save that Matters! Start Saving Early!
When I got my first job in high school, my mom told me that for every $10 I made I should put $2.50 into a savings account. Knowing how stubborn I was, she wasn’t pushy about it at all and instead just kind of lightly suggested it. I thought it was a grand idea so I started doing it my junior year. At the end of my senior year can you guess how much I had in my savings account? Sixty Two Hundred and Seventy Dollars ($6,270). I was in shock and ecstatic at the same time. You see I wasn’t keeping track of the balance, I was just putting in money and after that BIG result, you bet I made that a habit! I have friends who constantly brag about how much they earn, but as to how much they save, they say is not relevant. I beg to differ! My mom was right again! I’ve been using systems that set a portion of my earnings aside each month, and at one point in my life, I was able to lean on that reserve. I owe you one mom 🙂
9. You Catch More Flies With Honey Than Vinegar
Growing up, my mom’s most repeated advice was, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar” And it’s true. It’s not that hard to just be nice to people, to treat others well, and to make kindness your default — even when dealing with strangers. People will be more receptive to a kind, sincere tone, than one that is uncaring, nonchalant, and insincere. And for those people in authority who made it their duty to give you a hard time, remember to lean on this phrase to get through. Don’t argue with them! Don’t say mean things! Just use a soft answer to turn away wrath (you have no idea what caused) and you will be better positioned to walk away unscathed. It’s not always easy to be nice, but bearing my mom’s words in mind, has definitely helped me some and will no doubt help you too.
10. You Have One Life to Live So Do What You Want With Your Life and Let Nothing or No-one Stop You
And finally my mom always say to us, “you have one life to live so do what you want with your life and allow nothing or no-one to stop you”. This has been like a guide-post for me. It stays with me all the time and remains a picker upper and a motivator every time I’m threatened with derailment of any goals I’ve set. Every time I pursue and move towards something I desire in my path, I rely on these words to keep me going, and move with confidence and conviction. If I get 10 no’s I’ll continue to my yes, because I believe in doing all I can to ensure I get to live my life – just the way I want to.
I’ve shared these 10 empowering things my mom taught me with you so that you too can be empowered by them.
What are some things you learned from your mom that are still helping you today? Do share with me in the comment section below.
Katherine Goldman is a Cognitive Psychologist and Behavioral Mentor attaining her doctoral credentials from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She has used her psychological training over the years to impact thousands of women and young adults, and have since added coaching to her repertoire of skills. Katherine recently joined our team as a Life Coach here at My Blooming Biz International where she is helping women overcome obstacles and reclaim their lives. When Katherine is not busy changing women’s lives, you can find her trekking to one of her favorite places around the globe, spending quality time with her family and friends, or in her kitchen cooking up a storm.
Happy New Year!!! It’s the beginning of a brand new year for many of us across the world, and a perfect time to pull out our dusty dreams, re-polish them, and put our best foot forward in realizing them.
Here at My Blooming Biz International, we are beginning our year with a well-rested, rejuvenated mind/body/spirit that is refocused and ready to continue our mission – helping you achieve your goals and materialize your dreams. Our CEO had her year-end retreat as usual, this time in the very relaxing mountains of Texas’ Siddhayatan Retreat, and the outcome of her taking time out to relax and reflect is nothing less than what we expect of our leader.
Our fifth biannual Design Your Dream Lifestyle event will be held on January 27th in Washington DC, and if you haven’t yet attended one of our events and you are looking for help in reconfiguring/reconstructing your life, this event is for you. Get your ticket at Eventbrite, then download and complete our Lifestyle Designing Workbook. You will need your completed workbook at our DYDL event. For those of you who are still on the fence about the direction in which you need to go, and will not be able to attend this event, we have curated a few articles to help you make a decision, and begin taking deliberate action.
Regardless of where you are right now, you can take steps to bring about your desired outcome. You can get from where you are to where you want to be, and it all begin with a single step – the first step. Remember, only you can see your vision, but others can help you realize it. We are here to help you materialize your vision, and we are equipped with programs, workshops, and an empowered community of women to help you get through each phase as you transition.
And as always, if you are unsure of your next step in getting to your dreams or you’re experiencing indecision, you can Schedule a free 30 minutes clarity call with us.
We are growing! In 2017, 100 women attended our events, and this year over 150 women have attended. Of the over 150 women who attended, 102 have signed up for 1 or more of our programs and workshops, and 91 have completed their respective program. This is a huge success for us, but we are aiming higher in 2019. We are looking for 100% programs and workshops completion, and will not be satisfied until that goal is met. We want all our women to succeed, and constantly seek out ways to ensure we make this a reality. Of course, our participants have to do their part, but we must improve their chances by improving our vetting, placement, and follow up.
We also kicked off our Transformational Book Series – Our Picks in January, where we highlighted books that we have read and continue to use in our many programs here at My Blooming Biz, that are geared towards women empowerment. If you’ve participated in any of our programs and workshops, we have already passed their knowledge on to you. If you have not participated in any of our programs, go ahead and get started on purchasing, reading, and implementing those strategies imparted by some of the world’s best minds. Remember, books are collective reservoirs of minds that can edify and help enhance your life, but only if you seek them out, open, and read them – then begin implementing.
We are constantly looking for ways to improve our processes, and one area we can greatly improve is by publishing content that is relevant to what we are about here at My Blooming Biz – women empowerment. If you believe you can contribute to this effort, learn more and submit your piece here.
We look forward to continue having you in our influential Power Circle and being an important part of our community in 2019, and beyond.
Money Maven, Patrice C. Washington continues to show herself worthy of that title by putting forth invaluable money-making, money-maximizing, money-retaining tips and strategies that will ensure you succeed financially well into the future – if you heed them. Like a true money maven, Patrice begin the book by addressing Money Mindset issues because she knows that that is a huge issue with many women, and so many repeat the same behaviors over and over without learning that the root cause of their money problem is in their belief system. Excuses, myths, and attitudes about how to handle money are all addressed and knocked out right away. She touched on various aspects of using your God given gifts and talents to find ways to earn more money. She talked about creating a game plan for organizing and managing your money and some financial tools you can use. She later digs deep into managing money and relationships; and how to make them both work for you. It covers every single topic of money you can think of such as:
How to say no to family members/friends who keep asking you for money
How to end generational negligence on money in your family
How to raise your children to understand money and how it works
How to accumulate and build generational wealth
The book is compartmentalized in 4 sections:
Section 1: Create Wealthy Habits
Section 2: Earn More Money
Section 3: Manage Money Wisely
Section 4: Relationships and Money
Patrice does not believe in “emergency fund” as that instigate expecting things to go wrong, and it makes perfect sense – if you believe in the Law of Attraction as we do here at My Blooming Biz. As she explains, if you handle your money the way you are suppose to, then you will already have more than enough money in your possession to take care of that “emergency” – should it occur. You cannot get any more real about money answers than what Patrice shares in this book. She gives, real, honest and practical tips to winning at the money game.
As we always say, no-one is perfect, and likewise no book is perfect. She over-mentions Steve Harvey (but who wouldn’t with the significant clout he embodies). She recommends not helping your family/friends financially if they need your help and you have the means to (which we disagree with and you can choose to agree or disagree as well). However, do not allow these few items to take away from all the vital gems she shares that can literally change your financial game for the better. Patrice C. Washington is right up there with other finance superstars such as, Suze Orman, Chris Hogan and Dave Ramsey. Get this book, Real Money Answers for Every Woman: How to Win the Money Game With or Without a Man, read it and begin implementing its strategies.
Getting married is a huge step and one that many of us take seriously. And by all means, we should! It’s a contract that can determine how our lives will play out, pending all the intricacies that two people becoming one entails. However, many of us put our all into the process of getting married but often fail at maintaining the small yet important elements that are vital to sustaining a happy and successful marriage. Here are 25 things you can do to ensure a happy and lasting marriage:
25 Things Happily Married Couples Do (and You Should Too)
1. Marry the right person. There is no way to know for sure if you are marrying the right person or if the marriage will succeed without giving it a try, but there are always telltale signs during courtship that can help determine if that person will be the right partner for you. Paying close attention to the words, deeds, and actions of the person you think you are falling in love with is absolutely the ultimate key to securing a happy and successful marriage. The saying, “action speaks louder than words” holds true to the very end. Their words must be in alignment with their actions! If the person you are getting ready to spend the rest of your life with actions are not in line with his or her words do not overlook them and expect them to be in line when you are married. Not taking note of this and making the wrong decision will put your heart, your health, your happiness, and possibly your life in danger.
2. Revere their marriage union and vows. This is the foundation on which all successful marriages are based. Everything else usually falls in place when the marriage is respected by both parties.
3. Treat each other with utmost respect at all times, extending common courtesy – please, thank you, excuse me, you’re welcome. Being married does not give anyone the right to disregard common courtesy when dealing with the other party, and if you are going to be late for heaven’s sake – call!
4. Put each other first. Best friends and families are of course important; however, when two people are married the order of importance changes, as far as relationship goes. Let your partner know and see that in your actions.
5. Respect each other’s space. Even though you two are married, you are still individuals first. It is essential for every human to spend time with him or herself and find time to maintain the connection with him or herself. When you take time out to breathe and connect with yourself, you become more balanced and better able to give of yourself.
6. Remain open, honest, and faithful to each other.
7. Always willing to share with each other. Happily married couples do not deprive each other of intimacy. They are submissive and understanding.
8. Spend some ‘just the two of us’ time – everyday; not necessarily making love, but just holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes or sometimes sharing laughs and reminiscing about private moments they shared. Share a good bottle of wine while watching the sun set, or take long walks together.
9. Show appreciation. She may not know how to cook like Rachel Ray or Paula Deen, but whenever she makes the effort to prepare your favorite recipe, the least you can do is let her know you appreciate it. Likewise, he may not be the best masseur you have ever encountered, but when he offers to massage your feet or wherever you like to be massaged just let him know how you feel and that you appreciate his effort.
10. Keep the romance alive. Fix your lover breakfast in bed for no special reason. Buy her flowers because well, she deserves it. Take each other on spontaneous dates; do not wait for holidays or special occasions to do so. Surprise each other at regular intervals. Romance fuels relationships; when the romance dies, so does the relationship and eventually, the marriage.
11. Keep the lines of communication open and communicate often. The more you talk to each other, the more you will get to know about each other. The more enlightened you will be to the person’s likes and dislikes which can help you avoid displeasing each other, thus lessening the arguments you two will have.
12. Speak with partner about any grouse they have. Never assume that your partner knows what you are having issues with. And do not hold a grudge thinking that the other party should know what is bothering you. They are not psychic and neither are you!
13. Argue fairly. Yes, even happily married couples argue at times. They stay on topic and listen to what the other party is saying before replying. They do not involve past issues in their present dispute, and most importantly, they do not hit or call each other offensive names. Scars – both physical and mental, are permanent and hard to overlook. Words are powerful! Once they are out they cannot be returned.
14. Embrace each other with a proper goodbye whenever they are departing and a proper hello when they reunite. This simple gesture is very powerful! It is often overlooked by many couples who often times have shouted to the other party from the front door “See you tonight!” and headed out the door, and upon returning “Hi honey, I’m home” and reaching for a beer or the TV remote. Happily married couples take the last few minutes before departing to embrace, make eye contact, and say their goodbyes. This sets the tone for the entire day. Upon returning home, they spend the first few minutes again embracing and saying a proper hello or glad to have you home.
15. Extend loyalty to each other when dealing with family and friends. Happily married couples hold their spouse in high esteem, and lets their family and friends know how much they love and value each other. Their remarks about a spouse when they are not around, is always positive.
16. Always remember and acknowledge each other’s birthdays, anniversaries, and any other dates that are special to either party.
17. Recognize that their partner is an imperfect being and is ready to forgive them should the need arise, and is quick to apologize when they are wrong. Happily married couples never try to change each other; instead, they compromise and look within.
18. Take time to share in each other’s successes, and is there to encourage and support each other through failures. Like a crisis, failure will occur at times, but to get through that period you will need to combine forces. Enduring the down times will bring you both out shining with a stronger bond and marriage.
19. Laugh together. Making fun of the silly stuff that happens everyday, will enrich the bond shared and keep the stress quotient very low in the relationship.
20. Have at least one meal together – everyday. Mealtime can be one of the best bonding time. You get to look at each other while satisfying one of the most intimate need of any human being.
21. Make every effort to stay in shape mentally, physically, and emotionally. You want to be able to enjoy your relationship with each other for many years.
22. Make decisions concerning the family – together. The family unit can get very fragile when decisions are made without consulting each other. The other party feels slighted, overlooked, and unimportant especially when it comes to the handling of finances, and dealing with the children.
23. Resolve issues before going to bed or at least amicably agree to disagree. This is one step that can catch a relationship when it is about to fall.
24. Know when to be consistent and when to change course. Happy and successful couples have learned that they have to approach problems differently to get different results. If something is not working in the relationship, it is okay to change or adjust it accordingly. Minor changes in approach, attitude and actions can make the biggest difference in a marriage.
25. Keep abreast of what is going on around them. Happily married couples are aware that the things that are happening in the world around them, affects them either directly or indirectly. They read books, journals, attend seminars, browse web articles and observe other successful couples. They participate and keep a keen eye on the stock market, and constantly look for ways to improve their lives and marriage.
Marriages are failing – left, right, center – everyday but yours don’t have to meet that fate. You don’t have to look back after the fact and regret not giving your marriage your all. Take these 25 tips and implement them to improve your marriage, and take your relationship to the next level up. You’ll be glad you did!
This is one of those books that we revel in here at MBB! And there’s a reason for that. It was borne out of Paulo Coelho asking himself the BIG question, “Why did it take me so long to fulfill my dream?”. He had just completed something he had wanted to do, and was compelled to put pen to paper and share his experiences with us – in the hope that we will not wait another second to begin following our hearts and realizing our dreams. You have a dream that’s close to your heart or one that has been deferred, or buried, and now is the time to exhume that dream, dust it off, remove it from the shelf and begin the process of bringing it to fruition. You will inevitably face obstacles and obstructions on your journey, but you will develop the requisite stamina and qualities you need to face and pursue your dreams as long as you submit to the authority of your will, that you will see your dreams through to the very end. Make that commitment to yourself and honor it!
The Alchemist is a New York Times bestseller, international bestseller and it is choc full of spiritual and practical gems that can be applied to our everyday life. The journey in the book is much like an initiation, where one is constantly subjected to tests of patience and courage. It will remind you that in pursuing your “Personal Legend” (what you’ve always wanted to accomplish), it is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. Coelho constantly reminds us that we don’t have yesterday or tomorrow; we only have today. It is written in original word version and also an illustrated edition which is excellent for readers who prefer story-telling through images and graphics.
Travel your journey with joy, hope, and challenges in your heart. – Paulo Coelho
The most important thing this book commands is that you strive to accomplish your dreams and allow nothing and no-one to stop you! You must decide whether you’re going to continue with what you’ve been accustomed to – remaining in your comfort zone, or pursuing what you really want and expanding your territory. It is beautifully written with gorgeous illustrations which makes the story shine through in a pellucid way. It is evocative and allusive – working on you without seeming to, and at the end you’re left both satisfied as the adventure concludes and also wanting more, and more importantly – wanting to do more.
In order to live the life you truly desire, you have to let go of inhibiting thoughts and beliefs, be free with your expressions and actions, and follow your heart. You have to do those things you crave so you can have a fulfilling life and one day look back and declare – “I’ve lived”. Your quest to explore and enjoy life may not only bring you tangible wealth, but may also be far different and far more satisfying than you could ever imagine – bringing you abundance of intangible wealth. Life is truly a blessing! Embrace it to its fullest. As Coelho exclaimed in his book interview, “A blessing has no explanation, but needs to be treasured and honored”. Live your life completely, being unapologetically you – in mind, body, and spirit.
Every medium has something else to offer! We go to live plays and shows for that in-person experience. We watch movies for that visual-effect experience. We read books for that in-depth pull-me-in experience that only a book can beget. Movies and plays can only show so much, but a book can encompass substantial amounts of detail and context that surpass all other media. Books help us understand life!
They provoke reactions. They have the ability to change us for better, or change us for worse. We say use them as catalyst for your advancement.
Make it a habit to secure and read books of all genre, background, and intent! You can begin by reading this book – The Alchemist, and continue reading from the books we have curated in our series Transformational Books – Our Picks.
Remember: You too can live “the empowered woman lifestyle”. And you don’t need permission!
Money Maven, Patrice C. Washington continues to show herself worthy of that title by putting forth invaluable money-making, money-maximizing, money-retaining tips and strategies that will ensure you succeed financially well into the future – if you heed them. Like a true money maven, Patrice begin the book by addressing Money Mindset issues because she knows that that is a huge issue with many women, and so many repeat the same behaviors over and over without learning that the root cause of their money problem is in their belief system. Excuses, myths, and attitudes about how to handle money are all addressed and knocked out right away. She touched on various aspects of 
It was borne out of Paulo Coelho asking himself the BIG question, “Why did it take me so long to fulfill my dream?”. He had just completed something he had wanted to do, and was compelled to put pen to paper and share his experiences with us – in the hope that we will not wait another second to begin following our hearts and realizing our dreams. You have a dream that’s close to your heart or one that has been deferred, or buried, and now is the time to exhume that dream, dust it off, remove it from the shelf and begin the process of bringing it to fruition. You will inevitably face obstacles and obstructions on your journey, but you will develop the requisite stamina and qualities you need to face and pursue your dreams as long as you submit to the authority of your will, that you will see your dreams through to the very end. Make that commitment to yourself and honor it!
The Alchemist is a New York Times bestseller, international bestseller and it is choc full of spiritual and practical gems that can be applied to our everyday life. The journey in the book is much like an initiation, where one is constantly subjected to tests of patience and courage. It will remind you that in pursuing your “Personal Legend” (what you’ve always wanted to accomplish), it is as much about the journey as it is about the destination. Coelho constantly reminds us that we don’t have yesterday or tomorrow; we only have today. It is written in original word version and also an illustrated edition which is excellent for readers who prefer story-telling through images and graphics.
