Photo courtesy of MBB

Getting married is a huge step and one that many of us take seriously. And by all means, we should! It’s a contract that can determine how our lives will play out, pending all the intricacies that two people becoming one entails. However, many of us put our all into the process of getting married but often fail at maintaining the small yet important elements that are vital to sustaining a happy and successful marriage. Here are 25 things you can do to ensure a happy and lasting marriage:

25 Things Happily Married Couples Do (and You Should Too)

1. Marry the right person. There is no way to know for sure if you are marrying the right person or if the marriage will succeed without giving it a try, but there are always telltale signs during courtship that can help determine if that person will be the right partner for you. Paying close attention to the words, deeds, and actions of the person you think you are falling in love with is absolutely the ultimate key to securing a happy and successful marriage. The saying, “action speaks louder than words” holds true to the very end. Their words must be in alignment with their actions! If the person you are getting ready to spend the rest of your life with actions are not in line with his or her words do not overlook them and expect them to be in line when you are married. Not taking note of this and making the wrong decision will put your heart, your health, your happiness, and possibly your life in danger.

2. Revere their marriage union and vows. This is the foundation on which all successful marriages are based. Everything else usually falls in place when the marriage is respected by both parties.

3. Treat each other with utmost respect at all times, extending common courtesy – please, thank you, excuse me, you’re welcome. Being married does not give anyone the right to disregard common courtesy when dealing with the other party, and if you are going to be late for heaven’s sake – call!

4. Put each other first. Best friends and families are of course important; however, when two people are married the order of importance changes, as far as relationship goes. Let your partner know and see that in your actions.

5. Respect each other’s space. Even though you two are married, you are still individuals first. It is essential for every human to spend time with him or herself and find time to maintain the connection with him or herself. When you take time out to breathe and connect with yourself, you become more balanced and better able to give of yourself.

6. Remain open, honest, and faithful to each other.

7. Always willing to share with each other. Happily married couples do not deprive each other of intimacy. They are submissive and understanding.

8. Spend some ‘just the two of us’ time – everyday; not necessarily making love, but just holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes or sometimes sharing laughs and reminiscing about private moments they shared. Share a good bottle of wine while watching the sun set, or take long walks together.

9. Show appreciation. She may not know how to cook like Rachel Ray or Paula Deen, but whenever she makes the effort to prepare your favorite recipe, the least you can do is let her know you appreciate it. Likewise, he may not be the best masseur you have ever encountered, but when he offers to massage your feet or wherever you like to be massaged just let him know how you feel and that you appreciate his effort.

10. Keep the romance alive. Fix your lover breakfast in bed for no special reason. Buy her flowers because well, she deserves it. Take each other on spontaneous dates; do not wait for holidays or special occasions to do so. Surprise each other at regular intervals. Romance fuels relationships; when the romance dies, so does the relationship and eventually, the marriage.

11. Keep the lines of communication open and communicate often. The more you talk to each other, the more you will get to know about each other. The more enlightened you will be to the person’s likes and dislikes which can help you avoid displeasing each other, thus lessening the arguments you two will have.

12. Speak with partner about any grouse they have. Never assume that your partner knows what you are having issues with. And do not hold a grudge thinking that the other party should know what is bothering you. They are not psychic and neither are you!

13. Argue fairly. Yes, even happily married couples argue at times. They stay on topic and listen to what the other party is saying before replying. They do not involve past issues in their present dispute, and most importantly, they do not hit or call each other offensive names. Scars – both physical and mental, are permanent and hard to overlook. Words are powerful! Once they are out they cannot be returned.

14. Embrace each other with a proper goodbye whenever they are departing and a proper hello when they reunite. This simple gesture is very powerful! It is often overlooked by many couples who often times have shouted to the other party from the front door “See you tonight!” and headed out the door, and upon returning “Hi honey, I’m home” and reaching for a beer or the TV remote. Happily married couples take the last few minutes before departing to embrace, make eye contact, and say their goodbyes. This sets the tone for the entire day. Upon returning home, they spend the first few minutes again embracing and saying a proper hello or glad to have you home.

15. Extend loyalty to each other when dealing with family and friends. Happily married couples hold their spouse in high esteem, and lets their family and friends know how much they love and value each other. Their remarks about a spouse when they are not around, is always positive.

16. Always remember and acknowledge each other’s birthdays, anniversaries, and any other dates that are special to either party.

17. Recognize that their partner is an imperfect being and is ready to forgive them should the need arise, and is quick to apologize when they are wrong. Happily married couples never try to change each other; instead, they compromise and look within.

18. Take time to share in each other’s successes, and is there to encourage and support each other through failures. Like a crisis, failure will occur at times, but to get through that period you will need to combine forces. Enduring the down times will bring you both out shining with a stronger bond and marriage.

19. Laugh together. Making fun of the silly stuff that happens everyday, will enrich the bond shared and keep the stress quotient very low in the relationship.

20. Have at least one meal together – everyday. Mealtime can be one of the best bonding time. You get to look at each other while satisfying one of the most intimate need of any human being.

21. Make every effort to stay in shape mentally, physically, and emotionally. You want to be able to enjoy your relationship with each other for many years.

22. Make decisions concerning the family – together. The family unit can get very fragile when decisions are made without consulting each other. The other party feels slighted, overlooked, and unimportant especially when it comes to the handling of finances, and dealing with the children.

23. Resolve issues before going to bed or at least amicably agree to disagree. This is one step that can catch a relationship when it is about to fall.

24. Know when to be consistent and when to change course. Happy and successful couples have learned that they have to approach problems differently to get different results. If something is not working in the relationship, it is okay to change or adjust it accordingly. Minor changes in approach, attitude and actions can make the biggest difference in a marriage.

25. Keep abreast of what is going on around them. Happily married couples are aware that the things that are happening in the world around them, affects them either directly or indirectly. They read books, journals, attend seminars, browse web articles and observe other successful couples. They participate and keep a keen eye on the stock market, and constantly look for ways to improve their lives and marriage.

Marriages are failing – left, right, center – everyday but yours don’t have to meet that fate. You don’t have to look back after the fact and regret not giving your marriage your all. Take these 25 tips and implement them to improve your marriage, and take your relationship to the next level up. You’ll be glad you did!

With love, gratitude, and empowered attitude,