They say young minds are more easily shaped, and we know there is some truth to this. (I forget things I learned in college, yet remember things I learned in Kindergarten 🙂 ) And thankfully, I was matched with an incredible, insightful mom who never wasted a moment to make it a teachable one. Yes, dads are special, but moms are super special. No kidding! My siblings and I have had so much fun and excursions with our dad, it’s amazing! However, when it comes to the learning curve and life lessons for me, mom takes the cake. Here are 10 things my mom taught me that have helped shape the woman I am today:

1. Words and Actions Have Consequences

Yes, there is freedom of speech in many places around the world, but there will always be consequences for what you say. Yep! That’s what my mom taught me, and this has helped me tremendously to think before I speak. As she would often say, “once the words leave your lips, you cannot take them back.” Likewise our actions, they can either result in good or result in bad. There is no better time to think about cause and effect than when we are about to speak or act. We must be willing to take responsibility for whatever our words or actions bring about.

2. There Aren’t Many Mind-Readers Out There So Ask for What You Want

This is something my mom would often say. It’s kinda like a mantra. In short, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” This has always stuck with me and taught me to be vocal about what I’m looking for — whether it’s something as simple as a lower price for an item or something bigger like asking my mate to love me the way I want to be loved (or else). Think about it, if we don’t ask, how will anyone know what we have need of? They won’t! And if you ask and the response isn’t favorable, then you have a choice to make a change. You can then move on in one direction or another as you have already made that request known. So don’t be afraid to ask – be it BIG or small. Just ask!

3. The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease

My mom is a pretty mouthy, outspoken woman, and she first taught me the saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” at the age of 10 because unlike my siblings, I wasn’t loud enough in speaking up and my siblings always overshadowed me. As someone who’s a little more chill and subdued, I think about that often now whenever I hesitate to speak up, and you bet I immediately begin speaking up. And the rewards I’ve gotten are enormous and many of my accomplishments would not have been possible without these words of wisdom. I’m assertive and outspoken! Thanks for this mom!!!

4. Look the Part You Want, Not the Part You Have

When my mom first told me “look the part you want, not the part you have” I thought, what? But as I became older and new responsibilities began to present themselves, it became very clear what she was saying. Every time I was getting set for an interview or starting at a new company, that advice always came to mind. And now in my later business years I’m dressing for success everyday and not taking anything for granted. I’ve found that dressing nicer than expected can win you some major brownie points with employers and business prospects alike! And not only that, but it will definitely attract that caliber of people to you as well. So go ahead, dress for the part you want!

5. There’s a Difference Between Need and Want

My mom taught me the difference between a “need” and a “want,” which has made all the difference with how I now manage money — and all it took was a trip to get me a dress. I was a 10 year old who really wanted a cute bracelet set for my friends birthday party when she first gave me the “Is that a want or a need?” talk. We were on our way to get me a new dress because I really didn’t have anything nice and fitting for a party, but I saw that bracelet set and was immediately drawn to it. It was very beautiful, but it was expensive (I later realized). I was disappointed of course! As a little girl I didn’t understand anything about money or cost or needs and wants. The speech went over my head for the most part, but the conclusion of the message stuck: never ask to fill a want before a need is met. I learned that afternoon that a bracelet set qualifies as a want and a dress as a need.

The bracelet set lesson has become more valuable than ever upon entering the real world and moving to New York City in my early years, where I had to distinguish between needs and wants to stay afloat. It’s made me a more diligent and conscious spender, a habit that I believe takes time to form — a habit that a personal finance book or class can define but never truly teach. Thanks mom!

6. Hope for the Best, Prepare for the Worst

My mom’s constant words as we got older and started out making decisions in the real world were, “hope for the best, prepare for the worst.” It’s something I take to heart daily. Preparing for the worst-case scenario doesn’t necessarily mean you have a negative outlook, just that you want all your bases covered. It’s precautionary! It’s like storing food, water, and select medical supplies that can last 3 months, 6 months, 1 year in the event something happen and those things can’t get to you for a while. Highly unlikely, but very possible! Living this way has allowed nothing to take me off-guard.

7. Work Hard, Play Even Harder

The one thing that has really stuck with me is my mom’s ability to work hard, and play even harder. I’ve always admired her for being successful and respected in her industry, while remaining level-headed and moral above all. She always take time out for vacations, ensuring she spends time with her family, and never cease to live it up with her friends. She always remind us, “I work my a$$ off so I can enjoy whatever I want to enjoy – whenever!”. She celebrated her wins in style and was bold in letting everyone know where she has been, and the road she has traveled paved with obstacles, and how she maneuvered her way from where she was to where she wanted to be – living the life she desired and dreamed of. She prioritizes spending time with her family and was always ready for a good laugh. She balances her professional and personal lives nicely, and has always been a loyal, honest person in every facet of her life. Today, her example is helping me to live a more fulfilling life. I do work hard – smart but hard, and of course I continue to play even harder. Thanks mom!

8. It’s Not How Much You Earn, It’s How Much You Save that Matters! Start Saving Early!

When I got my first job in high school, my mom told me that for every $10 I made I should put $2.50 into a savings account. Knowing how stubborn I was, she wasn’t pushy about it at all and instead just kind of lightly suggested it. I thought it was a grand idea so I started doing it my junior year. At the end of my senior year can you guess how much I had in my savings account? Sixty Two Hundred and Seventy Dollars ($6,270). I was in shock and ecstatic at the same time. You see I wasn’t keeping track of the balance, I was just putting in money and after that BIG result, you bet I made that a habit! I have friends who constantly brag about how much they earn, but as to how much they save, they say is not relevant. I beg to differ! My mom was right again! I’ve been using systems that set a portion of my earnings aside each month, and at one point in my life, I was able to lean on that reserve. I owe you one mom 🙂

9. You Catch More Flies With Honey Than Vinegar

Growing up, my mom’s most repeated advice was, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar” And it’s true. It’s not that hard to just be nice to people, to treat others well, and to make kindness your default — even when dealing with strangers. People will be more receptive to a kind, sincere tone, than one that is uncaring, nonchalant, and insincere. And for those people in authority who made it their duty to give you a hard time, remember to lean on this phrase to get through. Don’t argue with them! Don’t say mean things! Just use a soft answer to turn away wrath (you have no idea what caused) and you will be better positioned to walk away unscathed. It’s not always easy to be nice, but bearing my mom’s words in mind, has definitely helped me some and will no doubt help you too.

10. You Have One Life to Live So Do What You Want With Your Life and Let Nothing or No-one Stop You

And finally my mom always say to us, “you have one life to live so do what you want with your life and allow nothing or no-one to stop you”. This has been like a guide-post for me. It stays with me all the time and remains a picker upper and a motivator every time I’m threatened with derailment of any goals I’ve set. Every time I pursue and move towards something I desire in my path, I rely on these words to keep me going, and move with confidence and conviction. If I get 10 no’s I’ll continue to my yes, because I believe in doing all I can to ensure I get to live my life – just the way I want to.

I’ve shared these 10 empowering things my mom taught me with you so that you too can be empowered by them.

What are some things you learned from your mom that are still helping you today? Do share with me in the comment section below.

Love & Light,