Many of the problems we are facing in our world today are due to two things: 1) lack of empathy, and 2) selfishness. We all know what selfishness is, but what is empathy? It is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and experience their circumstance in that moment. Appreciating anything requires empathy as well as the ability to think of someone else other than yourself. We can take care of our well-being and still regard others!

“If you are lacking the ability to be empathetic – to understand and share others’ feelings, then nothing and no-one will be able to make you more appreciative of your life and where you are right now. You will remain in a permanent, constant stronghold of me, me, me, more, more, more and never ever be satisfied.” — Eugénie Nugent

Our need to be constantly better than the other – not because we personally desire the things the world perceives as “the best”, but because having those things make us looked on as “living the good life” and getting us the well-envied “attention”. The constant comparison, trying to keep up with the Joneses and the Kardashians, feeling very badly about ourselves when we don’t, which causes us to remain in that constant space of lack and ingratitude. We are continuously sizing up and putting our attention on the people who are getting the attention and seemingly living a wonderful life instead of focusing on what we truly want as individuals and working to bring “that” to fruition, as well as listening to others who are screaming for help – some of whom we may be able to help using our unique gifts and talents. It’s in giving that we receive!

Stephen R. Covey gave us the best advice in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He said we should, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”. Many of us do the reverse, and this again is due to selfishness and lack of empathy. What does all this have to do with you appreciating your life? If you are only “seeing” the people you are working tirelessly to catch up to or surpass, and not the people who “seemingly” are less fortunate but may be in alignment with the purpose you were put here on this earth to fulfill, you will never live a fulfilling life because you will never be satisfied and will remain unappreciative.

So are you empathetic? And will you begin appreciating your life? If you do the following 5 “Must Do” to start appreciating your life real quick, and find yourself un-phased and still unappreciative, you have no empathy and you need to snap out of this virtual reality and look inwardly at “who you truly are”.

“By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved – and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses – you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.” — Jack Canfield

5 Things You “Must Do” To Start Appreciating Your Life Real Quick

Exercise 1. Visit a Homeless Shelter

Take some time and go to a homeless shelter, and immerse yourself into what is taking place there. We would recommend that you literally go and seek shelter as if you are homeless – even for 1 night, but it will not be fair to a real homeless person who will be turned away that night because you have taken the spot they should have gotten, and you don’t really need it. But go and be a part of what is going on. Don’t just go there and be an outsider looking in! Immerse yourself. To make it more real, you can probably volunteer so you can get an inside look and feel. Help to feed the people who can’t manage to feed themselves. Look into their eyes and listen to their stories. They’ve lost it all for one reason or another. Some of them are alone in this world, and others have to care for small children, and it’s utterly heartbreaking to see this.

But again, if you do not possess the ability to be empathetic – putting yourself in their shoes instead of staying on the outside looking in at them going through and totally separating yourself from them and that experience, this exercise will have zero effect on you and your ability to be more appreciative of your life and where you are right now.

Exercise 2. Visit a Food Pantry

We have heard from many of our women around the world how grateful they are for the people who take time out to cater to their needs by opening pantries and seeking out donors to contribute to their efforts so that people do not have to die of hunger, but they also have a common thread, and that is that the foods are mostly barely edible. People who go to pantries do not have a choice! In fact, even our CEO Eugenie Nugent has had her share of relying on pantries while going through a tough time in her life during the recession, and while the pantries she visited in New York City mostly had reasonably good foods, most pantries are filled with “whacky foods” as some of our women term it.

Don’t get us wrong! The owners of those pantries have really good intentions, but the quality of the food they give is most times what they themselves would not eat. Yet, many people who have no other option at a particular time in their life, have no choice but to eat what they receive in order to remain alive while clinging to hope that “this too shall pass”.

Go ahead and visit one of those pantries and eat their food for 1 entire week. No, don’t cheat the people who really need that pantry food; give your grocery money for that week to the pantry coordinator so they can add more foods to the supplies they have. Do not cheat this! You have to be in the moment as if it is really happening to you, and you have no idea when that phase will be over. Again, if you do not have the ability to be empathetic, this exercise will not work for you. Without empathy, you will tell yourself, “It’s happening to ‘them’ not me”.

Exercise 3. Visit Terminally Ill Patients at The Hospital

Whether it’s sick children or sick adults, there are people that are dying right now in hospitals close by you. Some are waiting for a new kidney, liver, heart, and some are laced with incurable diseases that makes them all the more hopeless. Some are constantly in pain, because they have exhausted all pain medications that are available on the market as their body has gotten so used to them from taking them for so long and have become immune to them and thus – ineffective. There are terminally ill children who haven’t been given a chance in life. When you look into their eyes and realize that you’ve lived such a full life, you feel instantly guilty that you’ve been such an ingrate – that is if you possess the ability to be empathetic and unselfish.

This exercise isn’t meant to make you feel guilty for your life; it’s meant to help you appreciate your life and what you have – NOW. Even if you’re not 100% healthy and you’re living with some illness like high blood pressure, high blood sugar, etc. you are alive! And those can be monitored and controlled. Right now, you’re alive.

So, go ahead and visit those people who are currently less fortunate than you are, and are fighting for the simple thing that so many of us take for granted – life.

Exercise 4. Visit a Women Detention Center

See the conditions that those women are existing in and listen to their stories. Many of them have done wrong in their lives to end up there, but many have been done wrong and after retaliating have ended up there. In many countries, the crime rarely fits the time, and people are forced to remain in inhumane conditions for periods not conducive to normal human functioning. You are not there! That does not mean that you couldn’t have been there. Many of us are born into situations that are surefire setups for takedowns, and some have been caught in “wrong place, wrong time” situations. If you have the “freedom” and ability to go about your business and pursue your dreams, you should be very appreciative – even though you are not there yet.

Exercise 5. Visit a Morgue

Yes, there are dead people there. They have no life, and regardless of what they did with their one life chance, they can’t do anything now. Their time is up, but you’re still here. For how long? None of us know, but somewhere in the scriptures it states, “it is appointed unto man to die…” so death is sure! So what are you doing with your life right now? Are you living it to its fullest? Or are you spending it trying to live someone else’s life and yearning after things you think you should have for all the wrong reasons?

If you find yourself being unappreciative, do the above-mentioned 5 things. If none of the above makes you appreciative, take some time away from everything and connect with who you truly are.

With love, gratitude, and empowered attitude,